“Pockets are a must, for storing your necessaries. Knife, money, tobacco, frogs, string, marbles, bullets. Read your Twain for suggested pocket wares.”—Nick Offerman prescribes your everyday carry (via putthison)
someone said that nicki minaj is exemplary of everything wrong with society today?
While the beat for Anaconda is seriously super wack, if that shit ranks in even your top 1,000 of things that make you mad, you’re mad stupid and if it’s the #1 thing that makes you made, you’re almost certainly racist.
i find it interesting that when it comes to liking girls I’m just like GIRLS ALL GIRLS YES PERFECT GIRLS but with boys i’m like you must fit criteria 1-9 but 9 is optional only if you completely fill criteria 10-13 with a non-optional essay on 21st century sexism due by 5am
I don’t call that interesting. More like “prejudice” “discrimination” or “inherent bias”
could someone please come pick up their crying child
“In 2002, having spent more than three years in one residence for the first time in my life, I got called for jury duty. I show up on time, ready to serve. When we get to the voir dire, the lawyer says to me, “I see you’re an astrophysicist. What’s that?” I answer, “Astrophysics is the laws of physics, applied to the universe—the Big Bang, black holes, that sort of thing.” Then he asks, “What do you teach at Princeton?” and I say, “I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street.
A few years later, jury duty again. The judge states that the defendant is charged with possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine. It was found on his body, he was arrested, and he is now on trial. This time, after the Q&A is over, the judge asks us whether there are any questions we’d like to ask the court, and I say, “Yes, Your Honor. Why did you say he was in possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine? That equals 1.7 grams. The ‘thousand’ cancels with the ‘milli-’ and you get 1.7 grams, which is less than the weight of a dime.” Again I’m out on the street.”—Neil deGrasse Tyson (via wilwheaton)
Whatup, dwag? Listen, every time these motherfucking imbecile racists come at you like "what gives you the right" all I can see is you telling a guy "hey, you forgot to wear pants today and you look like an asshole" and him responding "who the fuck made you an AUTHORITY on PANTS?" and then "why the fuck you gotta point out I'm not wearing pants, man? YOU'RE making me look like an asshole." Shit is weak as all hell.
Seriously, I’m just trying to be helpful here, it’s not my fault racists are racist.